I want to point out that I am part of and support the BDSM community and consider that most of the community is valid and has good intentions. But I also think that is a trap for women that want to experiment and get caught in an abusive relation with men that are in it not for kink but to have a free pass to humiliate and fulfill their rape fantasies.
If you are a Mistress and have an account online, you will receive daily dozens of messages with requests for free services from so called slaves and if you refuse, immediately you are accused of not being a real Dominatrix, of doing it for money and not for pleasure. But the reality is this, the Dominatrices almost never fuck with their slaves unlike Doms, whose sole purpose is fucking. Even in porn videos, you will see abusive men treating women badly , while they fuck them just because they are dressed in leather, while in humiliation of men done by women, almost never the end is fucking. Because this is the truth, women do it professionally. They work hard and treat it like a job. Of course, there are a lot of Dommes doing it for free in their bedrooms, with their partners, at private parties, but don`t expect women to just give adds on Fetlife and Twitter for free sessions just as all the men do.
If you follow some pro Dominatrices on Twitter you will see they have a really good portfolio, also videos sold on different sites and they state always the financial exchange. But they are complaining about all the losers trying to waste their time, thinking they receive free sessions and shaming them for ruining the community by asking money. And if you follow Doms accounts on the other hand, you will see how they provide their services for free, and almost all services include fucking, which is not the case with Mistresses. You will find Mistresses giving a list of kinks that they are comfortable to offer, without actually doing it in their own bedrooms. But when you visit Daddy or Dom profiles you will see a list of things they enjoy doing for their own pleasure, so they can have an orgasm and cum, because that is their only purpose, not their subs.
Fetlife is full of profiles of sub girls that state they don`t want to engage in any relation or chat and is just to show their master`s work. These profiles feature girls with signs of beatings and pictures of them in their torture chambers, and sometimes I find them problematic, mostly because they say they will not respond and their account is managed by their master, which makes me question if these photos are done with their consent.
Just an example
Please do not message me without speaking to Daddy first and stating your clear intentions with me & getting his approval. If you would like to give a quick compliment that is alright, but I do not owe you anything further unless authorized.
If you wish to do anything kink related with me and preferably my dominant, all negotiations must be brought to my Daddy first. He has final say in any play and negotiations.
This is why you rarely find pro-dommes on Fetlife. You will find lot horny exhibitionist girls posting nudes and telling you to follow their private Snapchat or Doms praying on these girls and also on Mistresses, as I get messages from these so called Doms weekly, asking me if I don`t want to switch or to meet so they can show me how good is on the other side. So, 0 respect for boundaries or understanding of how things work. Most of them always have another girl that they so called own, but that is not enough. Is more thrilling for them to convert a dominant woman, it makes them feel in power, like they are true men, able to make any woman submit, especially the ones that consider themselves Dommes. So is not about a consensual BDSM relation, as to a power relation.
So how come men accept so easy to be dominant for free and fuck their slaves and women don`t?
Maybe I am bias here, because I work as a Mistress, but I think women are more professionals and really do it as a job, and this means you will genuinely find Dominatrices that are fully invested in what they do. Whereas Doms mostly seek just rough sex. You don`t even need to go on Fetlife, you can just go on Tinder and you will find the same messages, gross messages of what they will do to you and fuck you, and beat you and gag you etc.
I found one article about a professional dom in Montreal, that also acknowledges the fact he doesn`t make that much money and he mostly teaches couples about bondage and other kinks.
“I don’t make very much money,” Faction admits. “The women [dommes] make money at this. Guys have no qualms about paying a hundred dollars for a hand job or a blowjob or whatever. Girls, on the other hand, feel they don’t have to pay for anything and are more likely to go to Craigslist. Women feel very uncomfortable paying for it. Maybe they’re entitled or embarrassed, I really don’t know.“
He says that women are entitled or embarrassed to pay for dominance services. But the truth is you can get it for free, because so many guys are in to. Is like saying women don`t watch and pay men for video chat because they are embarrassed or entitled, without realizing that this industry is made by men for men to cater for their needs. And yes women don`t need to pay for sexual deviant services because any guy will offer it for free. As for men that seek dominant women, they need to pay because there aren`t so many women that enjoy looking online to find random guys to bring to their home and peg them, while humiliating the shit out of them, but you will find 99 percent men who are willing to do that immediately.
So please girls find someone who you can trust and consent to rough sex and don`t let yourself be forced in to trying things you didn`t talk about, just because you consented in to spanking or hair pulling. Go on Fetlife and look for parties where you can go and meet people, talk with other girls for suggestions about real doms or try to develop it with your partners to explore your boundaries.
And for guys that are submissive find a real Dominatrix and buy some sessions or experience with your partner. But from my experience with most of my subs, they are already in a relationship or in a marriage and they don`t feel safe talking to their partners about it. So, another bonus with paying for sessions is the secrecy. While, for most girls if they decided to play rough their partners would actually be thrilled.
So please stay safe and try to meet people that are actually thinking about your pleasure too, not just for their sadistic pleasure either you pay for it or not.